Monday, August 28, 2006

jobs for the time-wasters

There are so many unnecessary jobs in India, and so many of them are paid for by the government, that I thought I'd suggest some useful jobs that aren't being done at present as alternatives.

(1) Queue minders -

Duties: Stands alongside queues at railway stations, prepaid taxi counters, MTNL etc. and ensures that nobody jumps the queue.

Purpose: self-explanatory

Special skills needed: Strong sense of outrage and excellent cursing abilities

Ideally suited for: Old ladies - As demonstrated in China, old ladies are perfect for this job, as well as for spying on their neighbors. Nobody dares push and shove or insult them -- lest they actually motivate the mute crowd to actually DO something. Many of them have collected a vast array of choice insults to use on the culprits. And it puts their general tendency to annoy others to a useful purpose.

(2) Crossing guards -

Duties: Gathers pedestrians at busy crossing points, like bus stops, and stops traffic for them to cross en masse. (Already being done informally with limited effectiveness).

Purpose: Prevent the stress migraines I get trying to dodge the people darting across the road. Oh, and also save lives.

Special skills: Fearless disdain for death and/or invulnerability/imperviousness to vehicular homicide

Ideally suited for: Convicted drunk drivers, flyover-happy MLAs and anyone who owns or drives a Qualis or Sumo. The close proximity to violent death might encourage these characters to mend their ways. Or maybe they'd just die.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have myself written a couple of articles for career change and I find your observations quite interesting considering our problems. you can add one more to the list. Many people are completely unfit for their jobs- the job of talent scouts is to remove them from there and put them where they are better suited.

If it were not for people who knew how to spot talent, there would be no Amirtabh Bachchan or Subhash Ghai.